Motherhood & Ambition together – A major block in millennial women mind
Many women who are growing and shining in their careers worry , that one day , they might end up choosing between being a mother and being a professional.
I was one of them !!
They will often question themselves, should they have children or not, and, if yes , then when?
When is the right time –
- When a woman is about to turn 30 years old, because we are surrounded by a myth i.e. after certain age , it becomes challenging to conceive naturally.
- When they achieve their career goals ,they have set in their mind.
What is usually expected out of a new mother is to be on the toes 24*7 with her baby ; many of us will expect a woman to leave her job to raise her child till he / she attains a good age.
I remember being questioned in a very different manner by many people around me – “Don’t I feel like becoming a young mother? I was surely offended but I didn’t react at that moment ,I was just wondering – What is the definition of “young mother”? Someone whose hair have not turned grey, someone who is still under their 30’s or planning a child as soon as one completes 2 years of their marriage.
I really wish, I would have answered those questions in a mature way or rather smartly, than taking those on my heart and affecting my mental health.
A mother is a mother, no matter in which age she plans or she adopts.
I am a 32 years old woman and a 7 weeks old mother to my rainbow baby (daughter) and here I am , a determined & headstrong professional to contribute and to be vocal about the journey of planning my baby , embracing the motherhood and making sure I am fulfilling my professional goals in parallel, without getting affected by anyone’s comments or questions.
My intention of writing and being so vocal about my ideologies is for every woman out there :
- Who are at their peak of their career;
- Who are yet to reach that happy space in their career;
- Who are also new mothers like me and still are ambitious and strong headed;
- Who are planning for their family along with having a dilemma in their mind , if career and motherhood can go hand in hand.
I took a great decision of having a child when I was actually “Ready”. Being “ready” has various definitions. It can be when you are financially sound, you have your own house , you are stable” in your professional life, and most importantly when you are in your happy state of mind (good mental health).
I took quiet some years to understand the meaning of a stable career. I started my career in 2010 and over the period of 11 years in my career , I have worked in many organizations and it took me 7 years to reach to SAP and that’s when I felt the most stable in my life. I feel blessed everyday.
According to me a “stable career” is :
- Its where you vision yourself professionally & financially;
- Its when you feel uplifted in what work you are doing;
- Its when you are lead by a great manager who is equally thrilled as you are with your pregnancy and she makes sure that she uplifts you single day;
- Its when you have a mentor who uplifts you by saying – “Looking forward to a leader giving birth to another leader”;
- Its when you are in an organization which provides a “Stay in touch Maternity Program” to all the new mothers so that they don’t have any fear of missing out & its makes it easy for them to join after maternity;
- A superb team who keeps a check on you during the maternity break;
Speaking about what happiness is quiet a subject in it self, as it differs for everyone.
I have realized few things during this journey and I really wish every woman to feel in the similar manner :
- Don’t listen to anyone except your heart and mind;
- Don’t end up running for random fertility tests just because you are in your 30’s – Faith over fear always;
- Motherhood always increases your efficiency – Never doubt your coming back to work;
Currently , I am enjoying this phase of a new mother and I can say it with my experience that “Motherhood acts like a catalyst which is pushing me to become a better version of myself”
Looking forward for the “Words of Wisdom” !!
Thank you #SAPcommunity for publishing my first blog 🙂 It will always be special !!
"most importantly when you are in your happy state of mind" rightly said! Very nice blog!
Thanks for Sharing!
Thanks for sharing your views, Being a mother to a 3.5 year old daughter, i myself have been in this situation where i doubt myself, but you said it correctly, i feel i am more efficient now. But, i do remind myself to slow down once in a while whenever i feel i need to.