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Day18-Yasar’s Sabbatical / Can You Just be Patient and Listen to me Without Interrupting me??

I don’t know whether it is a Pinoy thing, Asian culture thing or a Hapinoy thing or a very personal thing, but our colleagues, or I should say friends, at Hapinoy are way better than any of us in one thing clearly by miles. I am sure there are many things, but for now, I will focus on one element, which I think can be beneficial for many people, including myself!

When we talk, they just listen, without interrupting us. It is unbelievable… they just listen so calmly, with a smiling face even when they are subtly critical or not, and for once in my life I feel this inner calmness not to rush my words when talking to people at work.

I am a Turkish citizen and I can therefore in confidence say that we are so hot blooded as a nation, we can sometimes talk like a machine gun or a coin rattling in a bottle… in general, although I kind of trained myself against this, we just talk a lot, interrupt a lot, and and and! And on top of this, being from the Middle East office of my company, where people are even more animated, things spiral out of control from that point onwards. Let me explain.

When I talk to my colleagues, I always feel the urge to rush my words because I know they will interrupt me before I make my point. There is no patience whatsoever. I know it is not out of disrespect, it is just a curse on all of us, it is ridiculously annoying. And when they talk, they think I am going to interrupt them and we end up in this vicious loop whereby we try to involuntarily suppress each other to make OUR point over the OTHER’s point… and this abyss of iterative assumptions against each other, that one or the other will interrupt the conversation the colleague has started, consumes all of us.

This does not happen here!

It is so relaxing, so rejuvenating, it is so refreshing. You just take your time and explain your points, and they listen to you with eyes and ears open, with empathy and sympathy.

I have especially huge respect just because of this, among many other things, for our dear Finance Director or I would rather call her the CFO, of Hapinoy. Mrs.Jalu.

Talking to Jalu for us is like being in a therapy. No matter how difficult the topic is, Jalu is patient, calm and she never ever interrupts you. You trust her when you are talking to her in a way that you know she is not going to interrupt you, and you take your time, pause at times without thinking just because you stopped she is going to take over the rest of the conversation at that point. Such an etiquette, lovely behavior and maybe a habit! A positive one.

And you know what, this creates a halo around her. It adds so much gravitas, finesse to her and she is, if you think about this and if you only have met her, already such a humble and intelligent person, so please add these together and you have a topnotch professional out there you can learn a few things from.

Yes, I learned by experience a lot of things during this sabbatical, but if there is one key thing I am going to take back to my work, it is going to be my mission to help people around me understand the virtue of not necessarily being silent, but being patient enough to wait for your turn to talk.

It is not easy…but it is worth pursuing!


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