The Forum Moderator.
A sometimes wildly inaccurate, often incoherent and perhaps untruthful diary of an ABAP moderator. May contain nuts.
I mean – who’d do it? What kind of narscissitic megalomaniac would step forward and say “Yes” when asked to be a forum moderator? You spend hours looking at abuse reports. You see the worst of the community. Occasionally you get to help some poor lost soul out, even more rarely you get thanked. But most of the time, you’re seen as a pedantic, soulless kill-joy, caring only about the minutae of the regulations being adhered to. Nasty horrible bully. Anyway, that’s why I do it.
In order to set the record wrong about matters I consider important, I’ve decided to break ranks and tell you what’s really going on in the moderator clique. How we hatch plans designed to break the spirit of all but the strongest wills. What goes on in the secret forum? Who is “Princess Leia” or the even more mysterious “Zarniwoop”? Maybe I’ll reveal these and even more disturbing half-truths about the enforcers. Or maybe not.
I though I’d start off with a gentle introduction to a typical moderator day.
btw – moderator originates from the same root word as “modest”. Originally, it was “modesterator”. But then the French got their hands on it, and it became “Modêterator”. Which was hard to say, so became “Moderator”. This is not true.
A GENTLE INTRODUCTION TO A TYPICAL MODERATOR DAY.
WHY DON’T PEOPLE READ THE RULES? HOW HARD CAN IT BE? POSTING IN ALL CAPITALS. SEE IT LOOKS LIKE SHOUTING AND IS HARD TO READ. IT MAKES MY EYES TIRED!!!!
( Note also the over use of exclamation marks. Terry Pratchett says more than three is indication of insanity!!!! ).
You know when you click on that little triangle ? When you spot someone who’s CAPS key is stuck – or missing? That produces an entry in a little list we mods can see. I say little. But sometimes it’s a huge long list.
Hey look – someone is posting links to buy cheap Nike shoes. Maybe SAP have gone into a joint venture but I doubt it. Nah. This must be spam. So … I log into SDN, find all the post by that user. Yup – he was created today, and all his posts are promoting nike knock-offs. So, I charge my trusty deletoblaster, and BANG, ZZIP. boingoingoing… the spam has been fried. Quick message to the “Terminator” (aka, Zarniwoop), who fires up the ultimate weapon – the guestificator. Also known as a the dodoizer. A few hours later the Nike Spammer is pushing up the daises.
>Edit – exclusive here (and the rest of the world), a rare picture of Zarniwoop. With his guestificatoratoriser
> Edit 2 – the rare picture of Zarniwoop has disappeared. I think he took it with him when he went for an intergalatic cruise in his office.
There’s a few Smartform and SAPScript questions in ABAP General. Form Printing forum So I move them over to the correct forum with a little note asking the posters to use the right forum next time.
A few issues here and there. An email address posted. A request for points(!). A copy and paste of someone else’s material – you can get guestificated for that. Two posts by the same user, in different forums – apparently the same content. But a closer look reveals they are sufficiently distinct. Gradually each raised abuse report is dealt with.
Oh well. Quickly clean up the offending posts. Then, at last, I can start to make a constructive contribution to the community. Then off to my day job…
…come evening, and back into the secret forum where we begin to discuss our on-going plan to… what? well yes… but I promised to reveal all… how about some? No… Oh grief – not Leia again… You want to mix it with WHAT!!!… Well, no. Who does like gumpo?……..
Me, I never wanted to be a lumberjack – just a rock and roll superstar.