Humour@SAP XXXII: If SAP built the electric car…
The former SAP board member Shai Agassi left the company some time ago to found his startup “Better Place” in order to develop revolutionary concepts for electric cars. Some SAP-colleagues said jokingly, that SAP does indeed have the know-how to build electric cars.
If SAP built an eletric car, it would be like this:
- You need to buy a minimum of 5 cars in licence
- You need at least 1/2 year to adapt your street, garage and parking space to use your SAP ECar
- But you can run it on bicycle tires, train tracks and hula hoop-rings
- The door handles are on the underside of the car
- The steering wheel makes 20 clicking sounds when you turn it, because all 4 tires – including the spare tire – send back multiple messages
- You can see your whole driving record, but not the current street that you drive, because of missing authorizations
- The repair contract was just incrased from 17% to 22% fee, though simple repairs take 2 weeks; but they are available 24/7
- The driver’s seat has 250 switches and controls, but because of a bug that will be fixed with SP7 (release date still unknown), the back of the seat is stuck in complete forward position
- The gauge is configurable in km/h, miles/h, steps per seconds, wing bats per millisecond and WARP
- The exchange of the battery can only be done with external consultants, but they are already fully booked for the next 12 months. As workaround you receive a 10 miles long power cord
- The engine is scaled for a Jumbo and has only two settings: Off and Full Throttle
- The brakes react only after 7 seconds because of authorization checks
- But you can scale passengers indefinitely by clustering multiple cars
- The speed is displayed as ABAP-report
- The manual comes as a Powerpoint slide deck
b) Car dumps on you. See ST22 for more details.
c) Self cleaning car. Click on "Pretty Cleaner".
Regards,
Subramanian V.
Gretchen
To be allowed to use the SAP Ecar it is mandatory to have another ECar to act as a support vehicle. This additional ECar cannot be used to go anywhere or carry anyone.
The ECar has two forms of entry. Once again there is a proprietry key, which needs to be changed whenever the ECar is upgraded, and a generic key.
The good news is there are 6 ways of getting out of the car, most of which involve closing the windows.
2) To maintain the main car, you gotta have two more cars. You gotta 'test' new changes on the spare cars before you can touch your main car.
3) If you wanna learn to drive, there's an eCar IDES too..
Its completely electronic controlled with single language support for which plenty of mechanics available locally from one-man shop to major biggies boasting thousands of experts.
Future innovations will be available through half-yearly EhPs but bug fixes supplied every couple of months.
The dashboard used to be a single blue design but now different options are available.
Oh btw its supposed to run only for 5 years, but if you pay bit more on warranty then 2 more years and if still more then one more year - but that's it.
Well done, Mario
🙂
Jim