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In A Lighter Vein

During the late 90’s I came across a list of 20 standard answers given by consultants, when they are in a tight spot, during implementation and support.

  • It depends on how you configure it.
  • That’s not a good translation from German.
  • That’s in another module.
  • How did you get there?
  • That’s a good question. I’d like to see how that works myself.
  • That will be in the next release. I haven’t actually seen it yet.
  • You wouldn’t want to do that.
  • Let’s try that and see what happens.
  • That’s a Basis question.
  • I don’t know, the “expert” will be here Monday. Be sure to ask him/her.
  • That’s not the way it’s supposed to work? what did you do?
  • You’ll never need to do that, but if you do, call the hotline.
  • Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
  • An ABAP report can be written to get that information.
  • I’m sorry I have a plane to catch.
  • It’s a bug.
  • Let me call the programmers in Waldorf.
  • OSS is down.
  • It’s been fixed in the next release, but you don’t want to upgrade at this stage.
  • And the most important answer if you have no idea at all: “That’s outside the scope of what we are doing.”

With the passing of years, new products, processes, functionalities, technologies etc… do you thing this list has become bigger or smaller?

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