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Humour@SAP: XXI. Garage Affairs (Podcast)

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Customers and partners have been experiencing over all the years that SAP employees are committed to helping them out of the mud into which they maneuvered themselves with SAP installations.

This charming, helping character of us folks is nothing that can be taught, it is in our genes. Wherever somebody cries for us (e.g. those tasty sushi or desserts in the SAP cantine “Eat me, take me! You deserve more than just one piece of me!”), we grab the chance to show our nature.

I visited the eye-witness Michael H. in Walldorf. A German, with muscular programmers’ fingers, intelligent look, metallic-blue eyes, Michael had been working with SAP for quite some time. I asked him about his experience with his colleagues and how they helped him to find the woman of his dreams. He was so kind to provide me with some material and gave me the permission to quote from it in my article.

Let’s sit relaxed, roll back in time and zoom into SAP’s Number 1 gossip forum, the Humour@SAP: VIII. Saving SAP’s internal gossip forum from work-related topics. A request of extraordinary simplicity is posted:

Subject: Garage


First: don’t worry, nothing bad happened! 😉

Our eyes have met last week Tuesday morning and evening in the SAP garage (you walked on the wrong floor of the garage), and now I want to know, what this woman’s name is. I can’t get her out of my head…
So, if you don’t think this too stupid, please mail me…
If you do, email me nonetheless 😉

Best regards,

Michael H.

It would have gone unnoticed, if not the notorious gossip mongers and match makers had scented the blood of the prey. In addition, the romantic half of SAP employees watched with wet eyes and ready handkerchiefs, if there was going to be a happy end at the end.

Hello Michael,
Perhaps she doesn’t want to give you a signal????

I wouldn’t answer his mail either

Man, are you heartless; give him the chance to try it.

I was always wondering, why our intranet SAPNET has no forum for “Relationship” or “Joint Adventures”.

…I find this so sweet

After this series of well meant comments, the first posters came up with practical ideas:
Draw a photofit picture, this might help to identify her.

Call directly at the insurance companies and tell them her license plate number and a plausible story, then they might give you her name and contact information.
Markus L.

We appeal to everybody to help Michael and watch out for the car. If you find it, put a message behind the windshield wiper and tell her to contact Michael. She’ll have then time to think it over.
;O) Carsten

Well, well, now we are exaggerating. It should be ok for him to drive through the garage himself. Romeo wouldn’t have sent a search party either.

Errr…perhaps this woman is already married? Or she has a boy-friend? Or perhaps she just wants to stay single?

Why are there today in the garage so many cars without license-plates?

I am so touched by the help of all the colleagues!
Please, also help me!!
I am not looking for a female driver, but I have been looking desperately in the garage for the past two weeks for my car (license-plate number HD LV 599).

Some appealed to the girl of Michael’s dreams directly:

C’mon, pretty woman, he doesn’t smoke either!!!

Hello, blonde unknown Beauty,
If you had used the public transports, this wouldn’t have happened!

Nanana! Do not rush. Haven’t you read *the* posting at the bus station in front of Building 1?

Hello, dear unknown beauty,
Take your heart and touch base with us!
I think Michael’s courage shall be rewarded!
You go, girl!

Perhaps she already did long time ago and none of them is looking at this discussion anymore.

All this speculation was founded with some facts by the original poster and heart-broken Romeo, our Michael H.

Hi folks!
First, I want to thank you for your countless sympathy. 😉
For Matthias: No, she hasn’t responded yet :-((
Thus: please contact me…
(Perhaps she doesn’t read this forum???)
Michael H.

Hey Michael, Go Michael, go! Those who do not dare, do not win!
I found my luck in a similar way!
BTW: why do the smilies not contain an icon with a heart for mails like this? Who could create one?

Gabriele S. creates icons, and she definitely would love to create a heart-icon.
And I find this sweet!

Well…if you mention me, then I have to post myself. Yes, I will love to submit this request to the Icon-Committee, but as always with committees, it will take some time.
Gabie 😉

Some people started to ridicule the situation and break Michael’s heart. Where there are charming people, there are always morons:

Dear Michael,
Perhaps I can help you. Although I do not know her name, I know for sure that she has a little birth mark on her right buttock. If you should be successful, please return me my Rolex, which I forgot on her right nightstand.
Gigolo from Walldorf

Ah, that was your watch!
Gigolo from Wiesloch

I bet that she already reads this thread and laughs up her sleeve!
BTW: We should start betting, if Michael will succeed or not. We can extend that to “only knowing each other”, “falling in love”, “getting engaged”, “marrying”, “Babies” – bets will be paid out in 2001.
And if all this happened, we make a beautiful love-story for the SAP Inside magazine!

How was that? She is a blonde?
Perhaps someone has to read her Michael’s mail…
In that case, Michael, I would rethink it.

Are these stereotypes or are you really so stupid?

For others, on the contrary, it helped them to fly into spiritual and artful spheres:

Well, this story is touching indeed and significant at the same time. It hasn’t let me (and ten thousand other) sleep in peace. It seems to me that seeking information for the holder of the car might be the key for properly understanding the situation. If the car is a company car, then the holder of the car is SAP.
You met an allegory of your company, a incident that only few of us will experience. Don’t you notice the sensuality of the development, don’t you feel what secret charm your specter glares at you…You will give her everything, and she will not forget you. You lucky dog. But we also want to take this incident, to experience the daily things more intensive in order to also reach this level.
Best regards,
Axel S.
It could have gone forever like that, but than something unexpected happened: somebody posted the license plate number.

Hey, that’s the car of my wife!
Wait, I’ll come over to you immediately!
Anonymous (CEO of the karate club Walldorf)
And finally cheers roared through the forum, champagne corks plopped in the offices world-wide and customers found unexplainable romantic answers in their OSS-messages. Michael had posted the following note. A day, nobody who participated, will ever forget:

**** SHE CONTACTED ME!!! **************************************
Hey folks,

Thank you very much for all your unexpected, more or less useful (but partly also impertinent) contributions.
It was very funny (especially for my colleagues), but now we shall bring that to an end (hopefully a Happy End 😉 ), in order not to bring the respective girl even more into embarrassment or to cause a garage neurosis in her.
I will move that now to a more private level and will NOT post any progress reports in this forum. I am not going to satisfy the curiosity or gambling habits of some colleagues. 😉
Thus, thank you very much again, and please stop the witch hunt for the car with the above mentioned license-plate!!!

Michael H.

And they lived happily ever after….but what worries us most: did they kiss? Do they have babies?
Be assured, we’ll report more the next time…in the Infobörse, of course!

More anecdotes can be found in the Humour@SAP weblog series.

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